Ramadan is perhaps the most unique month of the year and there are a lot of things that we only do in Ramadan. Beyond the more obvious things, we Pakistanis fall into the cycle of doing and saying things year after year and i’m here to call each and everyone of you out on it. Let’s get started.
Gorge on so much fried food shamelessly
I mean, I’m not against it. I have a few pakoras and samosas every day too. I’m right there with you. But you have to admit that having them EVERY DAY for 30 days is a little strange. It confuses the heck out of our bodies. Maybe try eating a salad or something for iftaar some time. Or don’t. I’m not the boss of you.
Gain SO MUCH WEIGHT
This one is kinda connected to the first one. By the 15th roza we’ve packed on a few pounds and we’re confused as to why because we’re pretty much hungry allll day. Then again, you are still having 3 meals in a day so maybe don’t have that paratha at Sehri.
(This is all useless advice isn’t it? Even I’m not gonna follow it.)
Set your plate to look exactly right before azaan so every bite is perfect
I used to do this when I was a kid (ok full disclosure; I still do it.) I just need to know that my plate is perfectly balanced with one item from everything on the table. You start with the khajoor, move on to the savories followed by sweets and then fruit chaat but it all needs to be organized in front of you perfectly even before the azaan.
Know what time it is, ALWAYS
Its only in Ramzan that we know what the clock is saying at all times. You know when Sehri is, when iftaar is, how many hours until iftaar, how many minutes until you get off from work. You are on top of everything.
Make that lame joke about Dates. Every friggin time.
Ugh. Yes, we know. Dates are also the same as dates but isn’t one time enough for that joke? If you’re gonna make that joke over and over again, you’ll be destined to the edible kind of date your entire life and that’s not such a bad thing. They’re friggin delicious and nutritious too.